Brad colbert generation kill12/30/2023 ![]() "Whatever, man, it was on the news and shit. "Ray, the fact that you know the Commandant's opinion on that song is sadder than the fact that Walt's singing it." Well, Brad wasn't going to say anything, but now he has to. I don't care that the Commandant of the Marine Corps told Toby Keith that it was his patriotic duty to record that damn song, it's still cheesy as fuck, and I don't want to hear it while I'm trying to loot and pillage an ancient civilization." "Walt, you're pretty, and I love you, but man, you've gotta stop with that cheesy moto bullshit. " Uncle Sam put your name at the top his list, and the statue of liberty started shaking her fist, and the eagle will fly, and it's gonna be hell when you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell, and it'll feel like the whole wide world is rainin' down on you, brought to you courtesy of the red, white, and blue"īrad rolls his eyes, but he doesn't have to say anything. Well, that's approaching redneck bullshit, but it's not like a dull dagger cutting into his entrails, so he lets it go. " Come on somebody, why don't you run, Ole Red's itchin' to have a little fun, get my lantern, get my gun, Red'll have you treed 'fore the mornin' come" Fuck seeing men in the trees, this is true Iceman shit. Not that there's anything to know - yet, he thinks, hopes - but the thought that someone else, someone who isn't one of them, someone who could ruin their careers, could notice, well, he prefers not to think about it at all, especially because Nate would almost definitely play the self-sacrificing martyr card, and damned if Brad would let him.īrad grits his teeth and lets Walt finish the song, hoping the next one isn't such a punishment from the universe. He and Nate aren't lovers - fuck, he hates that word - but that's most of the problem, isn't it? Brad knows that Ray knows, observant little fucker, and Mike knows because he's like a damn Texan Jedi when he wants to be. " I saw you staring at each other, I saw your eyes begin to glow, and I could tell you once were lovers, you ain't hiding nothing I don't know"ĭamned if that doesn't hit a little close to home. Then, Walt starts the next song, and everything goes to shit. It's ironic and vaguely amusing, Brad thinks, but nowhere near as amusing as Ray seems to think it is. Ray's cracking up over the fact that, of all the singers in Nashville, someone, somewhere, had decided to pitch a song with the line "somebody here that I can't see" to Ronnie Millsap, a blind man. " There's a stranger in my house, somebody here that I can't see, a stranger in my house, somebody here tryin' to take her away from me" ![]() Today, Brad grants Walt the rare opportunity to sing country music solely to stop Ray's fifth rendition of "Ice, Ice, Baby." Everything starts off well enough. So, Brad lets him sing country music every once in a while, solely to preserve the sanity of everyone in the vehicle by giving them a respite from the musical stylings of Josh Ray Person, and he pays for it every damn time. However, a good ninety percent of the songs that Walt knows the words to are country songs. Walt's singing voice is actually highly enjoyable to listen to, unlike Ray's screeching like a dying cat in a washing machine. Walt, however, introduced a new problem in Brad's master plan to avoid feeling anything he doesn't have to. Telling Ray that he isn't allowed to sing songs that remind Brad of his secret pain isn't something that Brad could ever live down, so he had long since instituted a moratorium on all country music. He used to think that blues music was like a punch in the gut, but in terms of inflicting emotional pain, country music dragged the blues out back, kicked its ass, and then laughed at it for crying like a little bitch. ![]() No, the reason that Brad hates country music is because that shit has the ability to call you out on your bullshit like no other genre can even dream of doing. Gunny's actually got a damn good voice, but not as good as Nate's. Many songs are ridiculous bullshit manufactured by the commercial machine that is the music industry, intentionally preying on the regional pride and traditions of whiskey-tango fucks like Ray Person, but the shit that Gunny Wynn hums when he thinks nobody's paying attention doesn't completely offend all of Brad's sensibilities. He's indifferent to most country music, and some actually sounds like something approaching decent. People assume that the origin of his hatred lies in finding country music twangy and retarded and annoying, which isn't entirely true. Rating: R because Brad is partial to the f-bombīrad tells everyone he hates country music, and he does, with all the passion of a thousand wildfires hell-bent on mayhem and destruction. Paring/Characters: Brad/Nate, Ray, Walt, Trombley, Reporter, Gunny Title: The Many Struggles of Brad Colbert
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